Living life and raising Jewish children in South Dakota has always been an incredible and enriching experience for me personally and our family as a whole. Follow along with me as I candidly share my journey of discovery and learning. I’d love your feedback, your thoughts on my writing, and what you would be interested to hear more about. 

As my children grow and mature, I’ve come to a point where I can no longer dig my head in the sand. 

They are starting to get it. 

They are quite different from everyone else around them. 

In my children’s eyes, shockingly, not everyone knows Hebrew, the Aleph Bet. To my children’s surprise, their swimming teacher (we love you, Kylee) has no idea what Chanukah or dreidels are. And to their confusion, their neighbors play with toys on Shabbat, that due to Sabbath observance, they typically leave for another day. 

Isn’t the whole world Jewish? They think. 

And what is Halloween? Why are children dressed up on a random Sunday evening? Why are they celebrating something that looks a bit like Purim in the fall? And wait what?! We give them candy, but they don’t give us?

I find myself attempting to delicately balance giving over a joy and pride in the Torah and our traditions, and simultaneously fostering an understanding and acceptance of others who are different. How do I instill the most important value of Chabad, total love and acceptance for every person, regardless of level of observance, belief, and practice, and yet at the same time, foster a love and passion, sense of importance, to our time tested values and mitzvahs that I hold so dear. 

How to explain to very curious youngsters how something so special and important to our family is not the same way to everyone else. And oh my, how do you teach tact to five and six year olds?!? 

I’m no parenting guru, (though I do avidly follow a whole lot of them!) and I can’t say I’ve figured it all out. But one thing I did learn is that it’s ok to listen to yourself. Follow your gut. Take a moment and try to pinpoint what it is you know is best for your children, and TRUST yourself. 

Over time I’ve learned that it is ok to allow the words to come as they come, and realize that I, and every loving parent, truly does know what is best for their child, what they need to hear at any given time, and the best way to guide them. 

And finally, when they see me live by example, treasuring my traditions and life while simultaneously respecting and unequivocally accepting others who live differently, there won’t be confusion. It will be as clear to them as it is to me. 
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L’chaim to all my fellow parents, grandparents, and friends in my children’s village. (It really does take a village!) Like the Rebbe said countless times to parents concerned about their child’s life choices and Jewish observance, “Be a living example.” That’s all we need to do.

There is so much beauty to this holiday. Children playing dreidel, parents giving Chanukah gelt, the special feeling of pride when seeing a large menorah in public, and of course families sitting around the Menorah listening to the messages the candles tell us.
Like every aspect of Torah and our sacred tradition, the story of Chanukah is not just something of the past. Its lessons and message are to be relived anew each year. The story of Chanukah brings with it so many wonderful lessons and authentic inspiration for our life today.
So I want to share one story the Chanukah candles told me, and perhaps as you light your Menorah this year, they will tell you the same.
It starts with the Greeks and their battle against the Jews. Their fight wasn’t primarily one of military conquest. Nor was it only the attempt to stop the Jews from practising their traditions. In fact, the Greeks were fine if we studied Torah. But they wanted us to treat it as any human wisdom. Not G-d’s wisdom. They could even accept the Jews lighting the Menorah. After all, every culture had its own unique practices. But they could not accept our insistence that these were G-d given and sacred acts, and that the Menorah needed to be kindled with a special pure and holy oil.  
So the Greeks “defiled” the oil supplies in the Temple.   And when the Jews returned to Jerusalem and wanted to begin worship again in the Holy Temple, they couldn’t find any pure oil left.  But after an exhaustive search, we eventually uncovered one cruze of oil that remained untouched, holy and pure. This was used to begin rekindling the Menorah.
In our personal lives too, we each have that one cruze of oil that remains constantly pure.  Despite the ups and downs of life, the spiritual, emotional and material challenges we each face, and no matter how distant and despondent we may feel at times - we will always have that one cruze of oil, the essence of our soul, which remains holy, connected and sacred.  
As soon as we find it, we can rekindle our Menorah, and begin shining brightly again. 
This has a special meaning to us living in South Dakota. You may be the only Jew in your grade, and even in your entire school. You may be the only Jew in your company. You may be only one of a handful of people in your neighborhood lighting a Menorah. Maybe even the only one in your entire city.  But you too, are an equally important member of the Jewish community. You too must ignite your spark and shine far and wide. 
And like those Chanukah lights, we each need to increase, on a daily basis, never being satisfied with our prior accomplishments of Torah and Mitzvahs.   
Best wishes for a Happy Happy Chanukah!