Can jealousy be a good thing?

One of the wonderful things about being a parent to four children, thank G-d, is juggling the many different needs of our unique little humans. It seems that any time I hug one child, the other three quickly line up for their turn. If one child gets a treat for achieving an important milestone they’ve worked hard on, it’s almost impossible to avoid sharing the joy (and candy) with everyone else. This has pushed me to think deeply about the feeling of envy and how to help my children overcome it. But could there be times when jealousy actually serves as a positive force?
This week’s Torah portion describes how, after Jacob married the sisters Rachel and Leah, Rachel saw that she had not borne Jacob any children and became jealous of Leah.
While this may seem like a natural but negative aspect of our matriarch’s story, the Rebbe takes us on a deeper journey beneath the surface, revealing a more profound meaning in the sacred words of the text.
Petty jealousy, the Rebbe explained, stems from the fear that someone else’s success diminishes our own self-worth. In contrast, Rachel’s jealousy was rooted in her admiration of Leah’s righteousness, which she associated with Leah’s fertility. This type of jealousy is constructive—it motivates us to improve ourselves. Similarly, our sages teach that jealousy among Torah scholars increases wisdom. In today’s terms, we might call this competition. When applied correctly and harnessed, jealousy can become a positive force that propels us toward growth.
This idea reminds me of a teaching from Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the Alter Rebbe. He once told a student:
“Spiritual and physical are antithetical in their very essence. A superior quality in the physical is a deficiency in the spiritual. In material matters, one who is 'satisfied with their lot' is of the highest quality. Such a person can accomplish greatness. In spiritual matters, however, being satisfied with one’s lot is the greatest deficiency, which can lead, G‑d forbid, to major decline.”
This highlights the importance of distinguishing between different kinds of envy. The secret lies in the outcome: Are we inspired by another’s accomplishments to strive for more, grow spiritually, and contribute positively to the world through acts of kindness and charity? Or is our jealousy selfish, driving us to focus solely on our material needs or personal gain?
We know ourselves best. By channeling our natural feelings of jealousy and envy into constructive actions, we can transform them into a force for good, driving us to become better versions of ourselves and enhancing the lives of those around us.