Bring Back the Dining Room

From the day the Chabad Jewish Center of South Dakota purchased land for our future Jewish Community Center, I’ve been keeping an eye on the surrounding neighborhood, looking for a home within walking distance of the synagogue.
In doing so, I’ve noticed an interesting trend. Homes built in the last 20 years rarely include a separate dining room—unless they are extremely large, luxury homes. Instead, newer houses typically feature a small kitchen table area and a living room, with no designated space for gathering around a large table. While these homes are beautiful, it’s clear that builders, architects, and designers prioritized high-end finishes over carving out a special space for dining. The traditional dining room, once a staple of the average home, seems to be disappearing.
For a family like ours, this is no small omission. We treasure our nightly dinners together and especially our tradition of hosting friends for Shabbat meals each week. A dining room isn’t just another feature—it’s the heart of a Jewish home. Given the choice, I’d trade any modern amenity for a space dedicated to sitting together for a meal.
This shift in home design feels like a reflection of a larger societal trend. Are we gathering for meaningful family time less often? Hosting guests less frequently? Sitting down to share meals with friends—both new and old—less and less?
Certainly, financial constraints may play a role. But I wonder—has perfectionism also contributed? Do we avoid hosting because we feel pressure to present an idealized version of our homes and meals? Or is it simply convenience—why spend hours preparing dinner when it’s easier to meet at a restaurant? Have our fast-paced lives led us to undervalue the simple act of sitting together at the dinner table?
I’ll never forget a Shabbat dinner when a dear friend remarked, “It’s so beautiful to see young people using china. Our adult children don’t even own a set—they don’t see when they’d ever use it.” Having grown up watching my parents host Shabbat meals, through every busy stage of life, I’d never imagined it any other way. Hosting friends—both familiar and new—felt like an unspoken mitzvah, an essential part of Jewish life. And what a joy it is.
In our small Jewish community, this is even more important. If I could encourage you to do one thing, it would be to extend an invitation for Shabbat. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—maybe just Shabbat dessert or afternoon tea. Start small, but stay consistent. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Even if you’re unsure how it will be received, take that step. Your home, your family, and your Shabbat will be enriched. Our community will be stronger.
Let me know how it goes.

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